ECT - Stigma 2

I think the reason I feel there is a stigma, is that before I had it myself, had refused it many times, I was prejudiced against it. I was afraid of it. And isn't that really what's behind the stigma? People find the thought of it scary - as do they find mental illness scary because they don't understand it. I felt (feel) that if you've had ECT, there's a thought that then you must be really sick. Because only really sick people have it. Because it's such a scary thing. No one - certainly not the average person you meet knows anything about ECT - how it's done, what it's like, what the reasons are for doing it, what the effects are. (Even the person facing it has no idea) People have no reference except the dramatic movie portrayals. There were a couple of people who had the inside information on me who knew I was facing ECT who said that their mother or someone they knew had it and it really helped. This is probably the small percentage of people who understand a bit about mental illness because of someone close to them who had a mental illness, cut down to the small percentage of those people who have known someone who has a mental illness who also had ECT. And these are only the people who have known someone with mental illness and who had ECT and knew about it. It's a very small number indeed. Because we keep it hidden, because of stigma! I think close relatives or friends are reluctant to mention that their loved one has/had a mental illness let alone had ECT because unless they feel you, or the person they are telling knows all the positive and great things about this person, you will inevitably be prejudiced in thinking that this person is or was crazy, and somehow think less of them and their loved one. Better to just mention the positive things.
ECT is the further big stigma against people, coming after the mental illness stigma, which is still very much alive and kicking.
This is part of the reason I want to write this blog. I had it. I may have it again. Many people have it. Many, many ECT treatments are performed everyday the world over by caring professionals in a calm and caring environment to alleviate confusion and pain. 

ECT and Memory Loss - 2 - Short Term Memory Loss

I found the short term memory loss a bit of a blessing. It really kicked in at the 3rd or 4th session. The time surrounding my treatments was a complete fog. Which was a relief. I sort of just lived in the moment. I had no recollection of the day or days before, certainly none of the weeks before. The weird part was that I didn't know I didn't know. So it didn't bother me at all. As each treatment happened, I'd emerge happier and brighter, but only thinking that that was just me. I remember people around me saying "You're so much better" and it just didn't register. Finally, I asked my husband "Was there something wrong with me? Why are people saying this?"
He told me later that he struggled with that question, not really wanting to remind me of how sick I had been.
The other part of all the short term memory loss was that I was not able to function by myself, but again, I didn't know this. My husband remembers a day when we had gone to a coffee shop on a day between sessions, and he had to park the car, on his way back, he watched in horror from across the road as I walked out of the coffee shop and straight into traffic with no awareness at all about my surroundings. I don't remember that. It was hard for him, I think to see me all foggy and blank. Some of the memories came back, but only when I was told about them by my husband. I think a patient needs lots of supervision while going through a series of treatments.

ECT and memory loss 1

Yes, it absolutely happened to me. Both short and long term. I worried about this before going for treatment. I have read from other people how the medical side tends to gloss over the impact memory loss will have. It's quite a big deal, actually. 3 and a half years later, I still have times when my husband tells me about something and I have no recollection of it - things I said or knew or did, or things other people said. I suppose in the grand scheme of things it's not really critical, but it is slightly upsetting. For a good year after ect, I was constantly filling in the gaps with my very patient and understanding husband reminding me of things I had forgotten. I couldn't imagine how hard it would be without someone very close able to refresh your memory. I was lucky in this regard. Also, I feel that since the good effect of ect wore off along time ago, and I am still dealing with the bad effects is a huge downside to this treatment - I mean, what if I had more ect say a year after the first round, would my memory that I was still missing from the first go ever come back?
Description of what this memory loss is like coming up

ECT - Stigma - I

Yes, there is a stigma to this treatment in fact, the stigma has a lot to do with decisions about having it or not. For me, the biggest reason to refuse it (It was strongly suggested to me many times years before I finally did have it) was the actual treatment its self. But, the stigma factor is there.
And now, after, I deal with the stigma. There are so many people whom I would now want to tell about it, but don't because of stigma. I was involved in the medical mental health world and I didn't know much about it (I think everyone has THE ect image in their minds - the patient writhing around, a leather bar in their mouth, eyes rolling, etc)  and I didn't want these fairly close friends putting my face into that image. If I did tell them, I wouldn't want it to be a big deal, definitely not a plea for sympathy, just a simple explanation for the odd and sudden changes in my life at that time. I thought I would have to go on and on explaining all about it if I were to begin to soften the scary stigma and I don't think they would want me to talk all about it. I imagine it would become more and more uncomfortable for all of us.

My Electroconvulsive Therapy Blog - Introduction

I finally gave in to my doctor and had ECT 3.5 years ago - My (now) husband and I agree that it was both a miraculous lifesaver and a nightmarish ordeal with devastating consequences. We went into it with practically no information from my doctors and no real idea of what to expect - both during and after.  I'd like to offer here my experiences and encourage anyone out there with questions to please ask them in the comments and if anyone would like to share their own experiences, please do - thank you!

PS Please excuse my writing - I am somewhat limited to short bursts. Perhaps writing this will help develop my wounded concentration.